Dear Budi: How do you know it was no longer a fit?

How do you know it was no longer a fit? I understand company and people evolve. I am curious about the thought process here and how you approached it.

After I shared my update yesterday, Ann, one of the readers, asked:

Q: How do you know it was no longer a fit? I understand company and people evolve. I am curious about the thought process here and how you approached it.

Thanks, Ann, for the good question.

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I think a "fit" is very personal for every person. It wasn't obvious back then, but it boils down to this: What value are you prioritizing in your life now?

• Knowledge — Do you want to learn about new things?

• Status — Do you want to build a reputation?

• Health — Do you want to increase your longevity?

• Money — Do you want to increase your financial wealth?

• Relationship — Do you bond with others?

• Passion — Do you pursue what you love?

• Career — Do you pursue career advancement?

I write this on a piece of paper and stack rank them. I let it simmer for a bit and revise as I go. In this process, I notice slight feelings or thoughts throughout my day, so I have a note ready to jot down.

https://www.instagram.com/buditanrim/

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If you're in a similar situation, here's my recommendation:

1. Decision level 1 (irreversible). My mindset in approaching this is I know I'm dealing with the decision level 1—it is not easily reversible. Once you resign, it's weird to pull it back. (See my old blog post)

2. The tension is necessary. I spend months thinking about this. I keep coming up with an idea. For example, there's a day when I think: Maybe I should take this opportunity for Director of UX. It's going to be amazing international exposure. I left that idea floating around for a week. Then, I realized I don’t want to play status game. Then, I assess, okay, what do I want then? Another idea comes up. Repeat the process and revisit your value prioritization above.

3. The process is not neat or organized in any way. Just like anything in life—chaotic and painful to some extent. Start a straightforward question: If I have don't a job tomorrow, what do I want to do that excites me?

4. What do you value? List them down. Rank them.