Dear Budi: How to handle conflict with people?
People come from different backgrounds, experiences, and values. You will, no matter where, meet people who don't meet eye to eye with you.
After you cooldown, consider a few things:
1/ People come from different backgrounds, experiences, and values. You will, no matter where, meet people who don't meet eye to eye with you. There's no place where you won't find conflicts or differences
2/ Assuming the other person has ill intent is a way to live a miserable life.
3/ If you want to improve the situation, you gotta talk about it. Share candid feedback. Be respectful in the process.
4/ There's nothing wrong with sharing your perspective. But remember, your perspective is incomplete. There's always the other side of the coin.
5/ Leave some room for clarification. After sharing your observation with an example, ask about their perspective. Be open-minded, then, perhaps an interesting insight could be revealed.
6/ The goal of the discussion is not to find who is wrong and right. The goal is to find the resolution and how can you avoid a similar situation in the future.
7/ Sometimes, the other person has to "grow up."
8/ Sometimes, we have to "grow up."
9/ Don't lose the big picture. This conflict is usually only a small part of the broader goal you have in mind.
10/ Talking behind their back won't do anything. Gossiping make things worse. Alternative? Let people cool down. Then, talk to the person, straight.
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